Tardy Slip

My patience has reached new heights  this week as my oldest dog recovers from surgery on his ACL, my husband finishes an almost 2 week stretch of being on-call, and regular life refuses to accommodate for that by slowing down.  Here’s how our morning went today.

*To be clear: I provide this for your enjoyment, because I had to laugh even while it was happening.

9:00  Naya is fed. We are mostly dressed.  I am even showered.   It is looking like we’ll make it to our morning activity with plenty of time.
9:01 Pass cat box. Notice a cleaning need.  Take care of it.
9:02 Naya refuses to have her hair combed and put up. I try for about 2 minutes (choices, sprays, songs, acrobatics– you name it) and then give up– leave her in room to finish other tasks telling her to let me know when she’s ready.
9:03 Take Mancho (the identified patient) outside for his potty break on leash– because 1. apparently I need to worry about him hobbling away with three legs in our fenced yard and 2. he refuses to move without it.
9:05 Come in. Fill Kongs.  Naya comes out ready to do hair.
9:06 Wash hands. Hair done. Naya decides to give Kongs to dogs.  Excitedly throws Kong at Mancho in living room (does not hit Mancho).  CHICKEN EVERYWHERE.
9:10 Chicken cleaned off carpet.  (THERE WAS CHICKEN ON MY CARPET)  Put Benny (other, very concerned dog who is not to be trusted without supervision– he cuddles too close) in dog crate.
9:12 Wash hands.  What is that smell?  Clean up cat diarrhea next to cat box. Yes, that’s right.
9:13 CRASH! 
9:13:02 “Uh oh, Mama!”  Naya has pulled down the lamp in her room in order to get the unused collar cone that husband inexplicably thought should be stored there.
9:15 Lamp is cleaned up. (But not before sending a photo text of the devastation to the hubs entitled “This is Why We Don’t Have Nice Things!”) Where is Naya?
9:17 Naya found.  WHY IS BENNY WALKING AROUND THE HOUSE?!?!
9:18 Benny is back in dog crate.
9:19 Naya wipes her nose on my shirt (2 year old molars).
9:23 New shirt selected and donned.
9:24 Coats and shoes on
9:25 Reheat coffee whilst assembling diaper bag, snack, juice, and kid–then leave it to cool, forgotten on kitchen counter as we head out the door.

9:26 Realize Naya has pooped.  Go back in and change diaper.

9:32 On our way to Funshop.  Which started two minutes ago.

So, some days we ponder the big stuff, and some days we just try (often futilely) to leave the house on time without anything stuck to our pants.

-Jen

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12 Comments

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12 responses to “Tardy Slip

  1. Naya has pulled down the lamp in her room in order to get the unused collar cone that husband inexplicably thought should be stored there.

    I think that’s the coup de grace, really.

    Or maybe it was the cat diarrhea.

  2. Awesome. School mornings don’t get much better, just so you know. There are some mornings I come downstairs, look at the clock and stop dead in my tracks because we are actually EARLY for school. But that’s about 5.4% of the time. :)

    I’m glad you can laugh about it!!

    • From my own attempts at school days, I can only imagine.

      Really, if the options are laughing, yelling, or crying, laughing is probably the least amount of work. It also helps if I know that 7 pm will come, and a cocktail will be trailing close behind. (o:

  3. Mary Totin

    I was laughing the whole way through, and my thought was that I might have been ready for that cocktail by 9:32 am. :0)

  4. Ravi

    6:35PM: husband pours out cup of coffee into sink wondering why it was there.
    6:43PM: reads blog and figures out why.

  5. Melody

    I would have given up and just tried a reboot. Good for you for pushing through it!

    • Reboot? Does that involve a nap? If so, I just rebooted.

      Also, it was imperative that I leave the house that morning. I had spent the entire previous day being home-bound with an aching pooch. (o:

  6. Lakshmi

    I’m impressed you accomplished so much in 30 minutes. If it were our house, the chicken would still be on the carpet.

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